Feeling Whole After Running A Half

Every runner has that one race... that one competition, I believe, that changes their lives. It may sounds cliche, but if you're taking on your first 5K, 10K, half marathon or marathon, chances are, many in the crowd are about to be transformed into powerhouses of mental strength and will endure some type of transformation as they make their way to the finish line.

First 9 Miler May 2019

What I love about running is that, since I began racking up miles in spring 2015, I've become mentally stronger, more focused and determined to get what I want in life, especially through the tough times and bumps in the road.

Motivation to take on a half marathon came from a variety of sources - including friends and fellow runners who had an amazingly positive outlook on life. What I respect and admire about runners - and athletes overall - is that they prevail, they persist, they get knocked down and manage to stand up again (and again) and they are hungry to conquer their goals when faced with defeat.

I signed up for the NYCRuns Brooklyn Half Marathon on May 18th, 2019 when my life was calm, when I was running a couple of times a week and I'd had one foot injury months before - tendonitis - that set my training back a few months. I had until Saturday, October 19th to prepare for the biggest physical challenge of my life. My tendonitis didn't develop from running, but rather, the every day wear of winter boots that jabbed at my ankle. The swelling and frustration caused a rift in my long-term goals.

After registering for the half marathon, my mentality changed. I questioned how I would have the patience and stamina to run farther than 6-7 miles! And how could I prepare myself to run for more than 2 hours??? Anxious to find out how my body would fair, I began pushing the envelope, and my first 9 mile run was on May 17, 2019. My timing wasn't too bad - 1 hour and 35 minutes. But I realized I had to stop competing with myself for time and focus on the distance.

I continued trekking 7 to 9 miles on my runs during training until June when ANOTHER injury sidelined my focus! I learned that it's great to be on vacation and that flip flops aren't highly recommended, but they can also cause brutal foot pain if you're walking up hills every day.

I developed sesamoiditis a week after returning home from an exotic island vacation and had to throw away  dozens of pairs of flip flops; the ball of my foot felt like someone had struck it and I wound up having to wear a supportive sandal boot from my orthopedic doctor for 2 weeks.

Another break in training with my half marathon being a few months away!!

I kept active, stretching my foot, keeping my upper body strength training going and turning to cycling to keep me sane. I cycled almost every day to get the miles in and keep my legs strong as my sesamoid bone healed, a frustrating and painful journey of waiting...

My spirits were destroyed over the small humps I had to hurdle over. My body, my legs and my feet had changed so much as I trained for the half marathon and so many events sidelined my motivation and preparations. 

I learned, quite quickly, that ones body can do wonders without setting mental limits. I learned never to rush through a run - and that longer runs require a consistent pace and 100 percent commitment. I learned that life had many of its own "marathons" that challenged me to keep rolling with the punches because the end result would be a stronger, better and more health-conscious person with an amazing level of confidence and accomplishment.

Crawling back from sesamoiditis, I prayed for no more injuries! 

My First 10 Miler September 2019!

I was able to march forward (or run, rather) in September 2019- with a little over one month to be ready to run 13.1 miles. My first 10 mile run was on the first day of September, when I didn't even plan to cover that much road and I wasn't planning on pushing myself. There was a small victory in covering 10 miles. There was a feeling of not being better than anyone but MYSELF. I was my biggest enemy and my biggest challenge. Miraculously, I didn't suffer any injuries during my longest runs and recovery time decreased as I trained my body to do more, experience more and overcome more. 

And then, of course, I wanted MORE!

Experts say you don't need to run more than 9-10 miles to be ready for a half marathon - and if you run a 10-11 minute-per-mile pace, it can sustain your stamina for the duration of the race. I learned from my body that I didn't have to go fast and that I didn't need to risk burn-out or hitting that horrible "wall" with only a few miles left to the finish line.

In every training run there was some type of finish line.

Unfortunately, some of the spiritual and mental challenges I endured were more detrimental than any long distance run and more psychologically crippling than any injury that would cause a bump in the road.

Crossing that finish line!!!

In October, as during the peak of my training - and as I'd conquered 11 crazy miles on one run - I faced a few professional battles that saw the end of my career in the fashion industry, fulfilling an administrative role that suit me quite well for 3 years.

With uncertain circumstances at play and changing times in the retail industry working against my once stable role at a Times Square fashion company, my position was terminated.

What was the worst part of learning this fate, some of which was brewing for weeks before my release?

The day BEFORE my first half marathon - almost 12 hours before the biggest challenge of my life - I was told I no longer have a job.

Part of me was relieved to no longer be aboard a sinking ship and part of me was broken inside. Financial stability was my first "injury" and job security was a second "injury". I simply felt unprepared for what lie ahead. Where would my next professional journey take me?? What was my next move????

Furthermore, I didn't need this toxic, negative and dark energy sucking me down the DAY BEFORE MY FIRST HALF MARATHON!!

My boyfriend and I had went to the half marathon expo the day before the race - we got our bibs and some freebies... While excited and pumped for the competition, I had no idea the fate of my career would needle its way into my running performance. Regardless of what was happening, I have to push on.

Of course, as I awoke the next morning and slid into my running gear and as we took a cab to the start line at the Brooklyn Museum, I couldn't take my mind off the reality that I had to face. I was jobless and now facing something huge for which I had no spiritual energy. Just 12 hours before I was reading and digesting my termination papers and felt like I was swimming in an endless ocean of disappointment. 

As my boyfriend and I joined thousands of other runners, thoughts of my unemployment nearly vanished and I could only tell myself that THIS DAY was the ONLY DAY that mattered! At 7 a.m., the horn blared and I wasn't nervous, as my training prepared me to keep going, walk it off, take a rest and pace myself. 

Thoughts of my job ending poked at me as I made my way through the race with the packed crowd up Ocean Avenue as the sun was rising. 

It was at mile 5, when I was feeling like the race just began, that I noticed the sky in the distance. A flock of birds in the shape of an arrow were spreading out. Something strengthened my resolve and I focused on the birds, free to go wherever they wanted, free to spread their wings in new territory, free to explore new endeavors!!!!

Every runner sees signs when they're on their trek. I DO believe that every runner has that ONE run that provides an answer, support or savior from the realities they feel lost inside.

I'd only been lost for less than one day, but as I pushed on to miles 11 and 12, my body accepted what I was putting it up to. I felt like giving up at mile 12. My thighs hurt, the outside of my feet ached and my calves felt raw and burning. 

The amazing pain, the GOOD pain, was so much more acceptable that the injuries I'd endured. Oddly, it took 3 days to recover from the half marathon - impressive considering it took 2-3 months to recover from the every day injuries I so sorely let myself develop.

At the end of the 13.1 miles, I was grateful for that finish line, those who were there rooting us on, that prestigious half marathon medal and I was also grateful that my boyfriend Joseph was part of this history making with me, as he'd finished about 10 minutes before me and I can't help but be proud of his passion for running - even if he wound up doing the half simply because I was doing it.

Thoughts of my career and financial stability dissolved with the rising of my confidence and knowing that - just like in running - a long journey with tumbles and flops can result in something wonderful and better than before!

I was proud not just to have conquered my first half marathon, but to have found the strength to push myself despite the toxic darts that were thrown at me.

The mentality of the half marathon runner didn't leave me after the amazing race, which I finished in 2 hours and 25 minutes.

Medal - well earned!!!

My boyfriend and I went on vacation a couple of weeks after the race, during which time I was contacted for a new job that I accepted and started mid-November. It was as if the universe knew what was happening, where to place me and when to move me.

As the saying goes, when God makes you uncomfortable, that's when it's time to make a change... I'd been uncomfortable in different ways at different times, but my love of running has always been there to support me, strengthen me and teach me that pacing myself, taking care of myself and not rushing to get to the finish line, makes for a better existence!!

With more half marathons on my horizon and new career endeavors stabilizing my life, my love of running isn't just about pushing myself farther or faster. It's about staying focused, adjusting to change and embracing everything life has to offer, for the best and for the worst.

Choose your finish line and train to cross it with all your heart...